040505 - Blink

Blink..  and the world is in Limbo..  just for a

moment.. a moment you can make as long and as short as

you desire..  the insides of your eyes create a

Pause..  a suspension between reality and the dream.. 

between one reality and the next..  a pause between

Occurrences..  between Lives..  between Stuff.

We have found a Home..  woo hoo..  appropriately it

borders on everything and relates to nothing.  Between

Chelsea and Hells Kitchen, between the Garment

District and the Hudson River lies an oasis soon to be

called Home.  Two levels..  a massive courtyard.. one

and a half bathrooms..  a parking garage opposite..

and a soul called Mary.. make it a perfect blend for

further adventures.. or a respite from them..  to

quote myself..  I can hardly Wait..

I realized somewhere along the way that I have ceased

to care about other peoples’ feelings..  living Alone

one indulges with the Self..  the Others become a

canvas one paints on occasionally..  or a canvas that

spits back at you and tries to colour you..  but it is

a colour that can be washed off..  nothing sticks.. 

or if it does.. stays on in odd crevices that you do

not notice..  I am glad that I am on the road to

caring once again..  or is that too strong a word?.. 

I am on the road to being aware of other people.. 

strangely enough I am called ‘sensitive’ at the same

time..  but I have a feeling that this sensitivity has

to do more with Myself as opposed to the Others.

It is quite an enigma how being homeless all this time

was quite comforting..  in that I did not feel

displaced at all (my Life existence so far I am sure

has a factor to play in this)..  now the very thought

of being in one Place..  which belongs to Me unnerves

me..  hopefully I will get used to it..  my heart is

actually palpating at the thought..  my insides are

all undone..  and I can concentrate at nothing..

In the meanwhile I have played a very important part

in a life history..  I was Witness at a marriage in

City Hall in New York.  I went prepared with all the

vital ingredients to make a perfect match..  I arrived

with a box full of champagne filled chocolate (to

flaunt this ridiculous no drinking and no smoking law

in a place that ought be essentially a place of

happiness and mirth)..  needless to say by the time we

arrived in front of the judge we were all a little

unsteady on our legs..  the groom ended up telling the

judge that she was marrying off the wrong guy (she had

pronounced his very German name backwards)  and they

refused to accept Me as a witness since my signature

was shall we say too cool?).. we came away with

delightful memories of oddly intertwined couples

marrying for the moment..  photographs of signage that

belonged in an Orsen Wells novel and thankfully a

marriage certificate..  later we drowned our happiness

very architect like at the Royalton and the Seagram

Brasserie.

Where would I be without all those steady souls that

gave me hearth and home these past few months

(probably in a tent in Central Park)..  at final count

just the moves themselves comes to ten with a few

doubling in between them..

MaryMimiGaganMiriamRayaanAlexanderKadamNavalShireeshaDavidAnkitaChristoph..

 thank you and I have to say.. Shape up People..  just

kidding.. it is amazing what my friends are capable of

(dealing with Me) ..  and One cannot hope for a better

set..  Of course if I had a free run I would have

changed a few things while I was there.. but I am as

amazed as you that I kept my council to myself.

Around me are packed bags and cartons and in this

midst I write farewell to a phase which was

adventurous and exquisite and welcome another which I

hope will bring a tinge of stability and saneness..

Well Time has caught up..  since technology is still

to catch up with moi..  those last words were not sent

out..  all the better probably since I would like to

add that the new Home is amazing..  a true Oasis in

the midst of madness.  Almost all the cartons are

unpacked now..  though there are a few lying

underneath the staircase which we have no clue what to

do with and where to store.  As always the streams of

Life keep flowing..  my sister Bubbles is soon to

bring forth in this world a Life called  Esha..  we

are counting the minutes..  I have, after the Pause

familiar icons around me once again..  they provide me

meaning and connectivity.. since I am almost Nothing

without my Past.   

The fires are burning ones again and the machines are

all charged up..  our Home is Yours and we hope to see

you leave your imprints upon it very soon.

much peace