030403 - Chimera

Drifting in a sleepless chimera.. the horse buggies clop clop down the street outside returning to their stables near the Hudson. Everything is unsettled with the world and by default with me. Projects, thoughts, energies are all in a state of fleetfulness.. you try and pin something down and it rises to the air again, the way similar poled magnets can never come in contact.

It is strange to think of a land I had lived in for while being leveled by bombs right now.. the people being scattered.. places and faces I had once thought of revisiting never to exist again. There is no pain however nor grief for a memory’s solidity eroded. I seem to have removed myself from the past as seamlessly as I have relocated myself in whatever continent and garb I chose to. It would almost appear that these places only served as a setting for my lives to play out, they were recorded and then they ceased to have any attachment whatsoever. Makes me sound a trifle cold blooded. But I would think it is also because the physical immediacy of the destruction has not hit home yet.. living as I do beyond the world of the television and moving images. When the places of my childhood pop up in the news or in conversations they appear as they have always been in my memory, without all the bloodshed and gore that they are probably seeped in right now.. is it a mind’s refusal to comprehend a reality? Or is it because reality has become so fake that the mind cannot register.

Meanwhile New York is about as silent as beehive.. the endless drone captivates and carries the masses to new madnesses and meaning.. and One just gets swept away in the tide. A break is in order.. India beacons. Plan to be there in the heat of the Indian summer.. all the more to get swept away in That madness.. and just for a little bit of respite between the two.. Europe.

I hope to update you on my travel plans soon and possibly reconnect as I make my way across time and lands.